Posted by Dr. Irene on October 26, 2012 ? Leave a Comment?
Self-esteem is basically just a state of mind. It determines the way you think and feel about yourself and others and is generally evident in the way you act. Your self-esteem serves as the connection between who you are and what you do. It can also be defined as your internal belief system and how you experience life externally.
High or good self-esteem means that you have a positive sense of your inherent worth as a person. Self-esteem includes self-confidence, self-worth and self-respect. If your self-esteem could use a boost you need to be willing to take responsibility for your feelings, desires, thoughts, abilities and interests, and to accept your overall strengths and weaknesses. Although you might like to blame others for your low self-esteem ultimately you are in control of how you feel about yourself and about others.
Your self-esteem affects everything you do and it reflects the ?you? that everyone comes into contact with. We are all born with the capacity for positive feelings, but it is possible to learn not to like ourselves through our life experiences.
Self-esteem is not fixed and can changes over time, and even daily, depending on what you experience or how you are feeling in relation to the circumstances you find yourself in. Negative emotional reactions are the general cause for most low self-esteem and are determined by your perception of childhood experiences, criticism from adults, peers, your environment, media and society in general. If these feelings are reinforced by negative belief patterns, they will become habit forming and low self-esteem will be the result.
As you become an adult, you depend on others for a sense of importance. Negative feelings and thinking patterns can become so powerful they seem like the truth and your mind can then form value judgements as a result.
Self-esteem is both conscious and unconscious. It is an ongoing evaluation of yourself, a belief about what you can and cannot do. Self-esteem can be learned, but it does not happen overnight. It is the unconscious beliefs that have the most control over our lives and yet we are often almost unaware of these beliefs. It?s the critical voice we hear in our heads that drags up all the negative beliefs we hold and determines in any given moment what our self-esteem will be like.
In order to boost self-esteem it is critical to be aware of what that voice is saying and find techniques to let go of, disprove or accept and take action regardless of what it is telling you that you can or can?t do.
Now for an exercise to help combat that negative voice;
Write down 5 negative statements you heard as a child or ones you currently hear e.g ?I?m a bad parent?
Now turn those statements around to positive ones;
Put the statement in the first person ? use ?I? or ?my?, use present tense and state what you want, for example, ?I am a successful/awesome Parent? and for added effect write them down or print them off and place them in a place you can see them regularly and read them out loud.
As you?ve been able to see self-esteem is something that is predominantly decided by our perception of both ourselves and other. If you want to improve your self-esteem than you are going to have to take some action and quite possibly step out of your comfort zone and do things you have never done before. I?ll end with a quote that always reminds me how important it is to make changes ?If you keep on doing what you?ve always done, you?ll keep on getting what you?ve always got.? ? W. L. Bateman Is it time for you to make some changes?
As a coach I have many self paced units created by Beyond Success available to clients of which the information in this article was based.
If you enjoyed this article and exercise keep an eye out for my 30 Day Self-Esteem Program that is coming soon, in the mean time you can get started with the free 5 Part Single Parent E-Course, which in addition to Self-Esteem, covers the topics of goal setting, emotions, time and money management.
If you would like to make some changes with the one on one assistance of a personal success coach you can contact Jo via http://www.destinybychoice.com.au/contact-us/ to arrange a chat about your coaching needs.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jo_M_Thomson
http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Is-Self-Esteem?&id=7340816
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Source: http://theselfesteemblog.com/self-esteem/featured-articles/what-is-self-esteem/
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